When I think about my childhood and religion, the words “don’t ruin your witness” come to mind. My parents didn’t say those things to me, it was well meaning people from the church. This may surprise you, but I was a bit of a wild one. I always loved people well. I never did anything to harm people on purpose. I was just a little feral. I remember feeling guilt and shame for things that I did and sin that I chose as a teenager and young adult. The condemnation never felt like it came from the Lord, it came from churchy folks. I remember thinking how much He loved me while I was smack dab in the middle of my sin. I remember thinking when Jeremy (my first husband that passed away) and I lived together, that once we got married, I would finally be able to be the Christian that I knew I was supposed to be because I would no longer be “living in sin”. That was true for about 2.5 seconds until my Aunt Becky said something smart-mouthed at my wedding. Then, in an instant, my sin of choice was the thoughts I had towards her. It didn’t take me long into my sanctification process to realize that in my human nature, sin is gonna be a part of life. That doesn’t mean that I want it to be that way, it doesn’t mean that I strive for that. It just means  that it is a reality. Grace covers me every day, in ways I don’t even realize. 

I pray for my kids. We have four. I see the things that they do, and the struggles they have. I see the struggles that are out on full display and I also know that there are hidden sins and struggles they deal with. 

This morning, as I was praying for my boys, asking the Lord to protect them, I suddenly remembered all the churchy sayings. Sometimes those things come to mind and I want to say them to my kids,  then I remember His grace. I remember that through all of the things that I did, and sometimes still do…Jesus has always been there with me. I prayed out loud “Lord help me with this kid!”, and very quickly, as if He were speaking to me I was reminded of the very same things that I was guilty of when I was his age. I’m not condoning anything, I’m not thinking that it is OK, I’m just remembering how He loved me through my different seasons in life. That was a comfort to me because I do get panicked when I think about our kids and how they live their lives and how they may “ruin their witness” so to speak, but the truth is, if it wasn’t for my sin I wouldn’t understand Grace, if it wasn’t for forgiveness, if it wasn’t for Jesus, paying for my sin, I would not have a witness. I cannot witness to being The good girl all the time, I cannot be a witness that I always made the right choices, I cannot be a witness that all the things religious folks considered “good”was ever in my nature. What I can be a witness to is that Jesus Carried me through all of it, He loved me through all of it and He still does. He never left me even when I was consciously making sin choices and He never denied my forgiveness when I asked Him to forgive me with a sincere repentant heart. 

So I may not pass down generational wealth, I probably won’t even pass down good genetics, but what I can tell you is that I will pass down generational grace. I will tell my kids, and apparently anyone who will listen, that because of His sacrifice on the cross and His grace, I am forgiven, chosen, and deeply loved.

Are you tired and worn down? I can say I have felt that way in the last few weeks and I just wanted to lay down and escape reality for a while! I heard a teaching on this passage about Elijah the other day and I just have to share it with you…

At this particular stage in Elijah’s life he had over come some pretty crazy stuff, won battles, lead men in battle and it seemed all the “hard stuff” was done and over with. Then one crazy lady came at him making threats. This by far was nothing in comparison to what he had already over come, but he was tired!! Spent, bankrupt of energy so to speak. He didn’t want to battle anyone or anything. His first reaction was thoughts of a white flag to life. Some may even say he had suicidal thoughts. He asked God to take him out! God, being God knew exactly what Elijah needed and when he needed it. He sent an Angel that told him to eat and take a nap, then eat a good meal when he wakes up and that will give him all the strength he needed to face the next days ahead. So, if you’re struggling with negative thoughts, or thoughts of throwing in the towel because you just don’t know how to face the days ahead, cry out to God ask for help! Eat a healthy meal and get some rest! Take a break, give yourself permission to lay down for a moment, and trust you will get up stronger than you ever thought possible.

“But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness and came and sat down under a broom tree. And he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life, for I am no better than my fathers.” And he lay down and slept under a broom tree. And behold, an angel touched him and said to him, “Arise and eat.” And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water. And he ate and drank and lay down again. And the angel of the Lord came again a second time and touched him and said, “Arise and eat, for the journey is too great for you.” And he arose and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb, the mount of God.”

1 Kings 19:4-8 ESV

A word on being a Godly leader.

Ever feel like you can take on the world, then once you do you realize it’s not as rewarding as you imagined? Our society teaches us to be cut throat and rise to the top regardless of who you have to step on to get there. Then they portray this as  characteristics of a good leader. The Bible has other things to say about that. The Bible talks about God using foolish or uneducated people to lead things. He will take our experiences over our credentials any day. He is much more interested in spending time with us  than us being in charge of something and taking on too many tasks.

“When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.”

Acts 4:13 NIV

God also teaches us to be content with what we have. Sometimes in our striving to be the biggest, baddest, fastest and strongest we become discontent and unfulfilled. Instead He wants us to be reliant completely on Him, then our ability to lead comes from an over flow of our love and reliance on Him, rather than our own abilities.

“For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Matthew 6:32-33 NIV

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Philippians 4:11-13 NIV

We have a clear mapped out instruction in 1 Peter as to how we should lead what God has entrusted us with. This can be our family, our jobs, the children we teach in children’s ministry, the people we lead in ministry.  There is a time and place for everything, and if we take the time to know His word and follow His instruction He will give us a fulfilled life, not free of stress, or pain, but one that are certain and confident that we are serving others out of our love for Him and not out of any selfish gain which will return void.

“To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christʼs sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of Godʼs flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.” Humble yourselves, therefore, under Godʼs mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.”

1 Peter 5:1-11 NIV

Tara Gibson

How has it been over a year since I wrote a blog post?!?! I used to have such a passion and desire to write, write, write! One thing that God has put on my heart and mind is that I had gotten too busy doing ministry, and forgot to focus on HIM. It could be the same for my writing, I think I was too busy keeping commitments that I lost focus of something I love. It’s easy to do! I’ve often used the quote I heard many many years ago…”If the devil can’t make you bad, he will make you busy” I used to think of that as worldly related things like jobs, sports, commitments that take up all of our time so that we don’t have free moments to spend with Jesus. I never really considered ministry to be a source of busyness, after all, it’s serving God, right?

The truth is Brad and I both had gotten very busy with ministry, so much so that we were leaving our kids at home several evenings a week to fend for themselves for dinner or to wait until after 9pm to wrap up our ministry obligations and bring dinner home from the drive through of our choice. There was a time when I was at my beloved church 5 out of the 7 days in a week! This didn’t even include my chaplain hours that I put in every week!

One of my all time favorite songs is Crowder’s “How He Loves”. The first words of the song say “He is jealous for me”. What does that even mean?!? I think I know now! We had gotten so busy with good things, that we were missing out on the GREAT! He is even jealous of our services FOR Him. If it becomes a bigger focus than He Himself, we are doing it wrong! I don’t regret my years of leading Recovery, or serving in Student ministry, I know that lives were changed and God gets the glory for all of that! I am not saying if you’re serving and committed to showing up for something that you are wrong! I’m just saying don’t let that become your little g god. Don’t let good pull rank on great. God is a jealous God (look it up). He will find a way to make sure that we know He is not going to jockey for position of first place in our life. He is also a gentleman and will not force Himself on us either, He will let us continue in our ways until we find ourselves unfulfilled or maybe even in chaos. Above all He is a loving God and when we come to our senses He is full of grace and meets us right where we are. He shows us the quickest path back to Him and lifts us up and gives us the best gift ever received…HIM.

I was talking about a social media with some friends recently and the idea that people only post the highlights or good stuff in their lives was mentioned. Sometimes we compare our lives to what we see on Facebook or other outlets, and feel disappointed because our lives don’t seem as fun, or wonderful as theirs.  

There was an underlying tone that these “wonderful people posts” are fake or not authentic, and sometimes that may be the case, but I would like for you to consider a different mind set. A mind set that I have and that I have thought many times about putting into words, but never took the time to do it. Follow me if you can as I let in on my little world, and how wonderfully chaotic and maddening it can be. Some of you already know these things and and they won’t surprise you a bit! 

I have 2 boys, I was a widow at age 35, I remarried almost 2 years ago to a man that has 2 boys and an ex-wife. All these things in themselves make our lives a bit…what’s the word??? Let’s jus go with difficult, all these things make our lives a bit difficult at times. That’s 6 (7 if you include the 2 boys mother) different personalities all thrown in a blender and puréed. Wow! Some of the things we deal with are just down right exhausting! Here we have 2 adults that have had their share of hurts and disappointments and almost 40 years each of ways we have dealt with life. Now all the sudden we are trying to navigate through this blended family and be “good parents” with all these circumstances weighing in on us. Oh yeah, have I mentioned that on top of these family things we are also dedicated to two ministries at our church, we are introducing sports, we have 4 dogs, 4 goats, and a business? That just skims the surface of how busy our lives can be.  

So you may ask (or just say to yourselves) “Why is their life so fun?” or “I wish we were as happy as they were!” The reality is you see the highlight reel, but you know what?? I’m ok with that, you know why? Because I have done a LOT of work on my self-worth and my identity. I chose to let my identity be in Christ. I have, and will continue to study God’s word and really dig in to finding out how God wants us to live and deal with life’s gut punches. He doesn’t want these things so that we can be “good people” His word tells us how to think and respond so that we may have peace and joy! Even in the midst of our craziness or chaos. 

We are not perfect people that always have the best time or the most peaceful home. We mess up sometimes (a lot of times). We yell at our kids, we get frustrated with each other. We have moments that seem overwhelming and unfulfilling, but we choose not to focus on those moments any longer than we have to. There is one scripture that I will leave with you as to why I always post the good and choose to leave out the less desirable. There are many, many more I could post, but this is one of my scriptures! One that I try to use as a filter before I speak, sometimes I fail miserably at it, especially in a heated moment and for that I confess and repent, but if we could all do these things we would find more footage on our highlight reel. 
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”

‭‭Philippians‬ ‭4:8-9‬ ‭ESV‬‬

http://bible.com/59/php.4.8-9.esv
As a side note I want to say how thankful I am for my Tuesday night Ridge Recovery ladies. Many times I have asked them to pray for me and my blended family. They allow me to vent and share and they suit up for battle for me and my family and pray hard! I feel their prayers and I couldn’t imagine doing life without them!  

Have you ever had those moments that you heard news that was so shocking that you remember every detail about where you were and what you were doing when you heard it? In 2003 when I was on maternity leave with my first born, very colicky son, I was sitting on my new $20 thrift store couch, that smelled like someone else’s bad habits. I got a phone call from my best soul-mate sister, which was also the wife of one of the pastors of my beloved church. Her words still sting as she said “Troy has been arrested for child molestation”. I was shocked, disturbed, sickened and terrified all at the same time. Troy was our lead pastor, the founder of our church. The entire time I was asking the typical questions…”Who? When? Where? my mind was reeling back to my childhood when another highly respected, very spiritually gifted man of God was doing the same thing to children that are now scarred up grown-ups with trust issues, low self worth, and a string of bad choices that stem from the innocents that was stolen from them.  Many years have passed since then, years that have been served in prison, or for the victims in therapy or in what God only knows what else.  

The News that broke yesterday about 32 arrested, including 2 church leaders, in connection with human trafficking and prostitution took me right back to these moments. Moments where my church family was devastated. Moments when we all questioned how we didn’t know this was part of his character…this was the man that collectively married us, buried our loved ones, dedicated our babies, baptized us! Did his sinful nature make all of that null and void? Was everything we had learned about Jesus while under his teaching now questionable? How could this happen from such a “good Christian”? 

I moved from that state shortly after that. I left that church where I was once so involved that it was part of my identity. I was broken. It took me a very long time to even want to go to church again. When I did I spent years in the background of a giant church where I didn’t want to know anyone, or get close to any of the pastors, because up until this point in my life preachers have been the men that have shattered everything I understood about God’s love and protection. 

I was keeping myself “safe”, but in all honesty I isolated myself from the very people that I would need. I didn’t form the relationships that I needed when my life fell apart due to my first husbands addictions, depression and ultimately his death. Because I allowed fear to take over I was completely alone in a giant church full of people. 

Now, 13 years later, I have had to overcome the after effects of my lack of faith and fear of man disappointing me. I am a very active part of my church family at Ridge Church. I have learned that we are all flawed and apart from Jesus we are all capable of hurting others. Even as believers we will fail each other.  

I also know that sexual sin is alive and thriving in this broken world we live in, Christians are not immune to the draw of sexual desires. I am in no way excusing the actions of anyone! I’m simply stating that God’s word gives us specific instruction on how to guard ourselves from attack of the enemy.

 “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭6:11‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/eph.6.11.niv

 Non-believers will never comprehend that spiritual battle we are in EVERYDAY as Christians. They will never understand that we are probably tempted more than anyone because the enemy knows he can destroy the character of the men and women that are spreading the gospel by luring them into his traps. 

So I say this to my friends and family that attend the churches effected by this disgusting crime that was revealed yesterday, stand firm in your faith, stand firm in your trust in God. Don’t let another mans actions draw you away from the community that God has called you into. Pray for discernment, pray for wisdom! Don’t read all the articles that come across and if you do don’t read the comments. If you read the comments, don’t react to them in an un-Godly way that will further damage what non-believers understand about our Jesus!  

Let God fight for you! 

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.””

‭‭Exodus‬ ‭14:14‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/exo.14.14.niv

It is no surprise to God what happened in our community yesterday. Another thing non-believers can’t comprehend. It was NOT His will, but I can promise you He has a plan and His plans are always good. 

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:28‬ ‭NIV‬‬

http://bible.com/111/rom.8.28.niv

The Bible tells us we shouldn’t be unequally yoked, the reference is in regards to partnering with non-believers. Many pastors, teachers, counselors and mentors use this term in marriage. Have you heard this term? Do you comprehend this term? A yoke is farming equipment used to put two large animals together at the neck so that they can pull equally and do their “job” more sufficiently and equally.  
So…you’re married. Maybe you didn’t comprehend this statement when you decided to marry, maybe you or your spouse weren’t believers when you married. Maybe you married because you thought it was the right thing to do at the time. Either way you are proverbially tied at the neck with another human being. Somedays the work seems even things are going fine and moving right along. Other days it may seem if you are dragging that sorry piece of deadweight behind you while you are lunging forward vowing to get the task ahead of you done all by your self! Or quite possibly you are being the dead weight and your spouse is snarling and stomping trying to get you to see that you’re not pulling your weight and how it leaves all the responsibility on them.  
In these times of frustration how are you as a Christian supposed to handle these things? This is where we have to turn to our pocket field guide (The Bible) and hit our knees seeking how God would have you handle these things. A “WWJD” type of moment for the lack of better words.  

Do you think Jesus would handle it by throwing out passive aggressive comments? Stomping your feet and pouting? Screaming at the top of your lungs about the sorry job as a parent, spouse or friend your partner has done? I’m gonna go with…PROBABLY NOT! 

All though these are the natural defaults that our human nature embrace, this is not the way Jesus wants us to handle this, and after all is said and done isn’t HIM we are aiming to please?! 

There are many many scriptures that back me up in this but there are a few things that have to happen before those words matter… First you have to believe those words. You have to believe those words were written to you, for you, and about you, even when things seem unfair or that Gods’s promises aren’t coming in the time frame you would like.  

Second you have to put them into action, which is easy when things are going smoothly, but what about when you spouse isn’t meeting an expectation that you have? Is it so easy to put the meek, mild, forgiving, mercy, holding of the tongue, and grace into action when you want to throat punch the other person? NOT AT ALL! But in order to reap the harvest of peace, and joy you have to sow those seeds even in the hard times. Sometimes this takes more than you have in you, that’s the moments you have to train yourself to lean in closer to God and tap into HIS strength. 

Use the difficult parts of your marriage to grow you closer to God, learn HIS ways, reflect HIS character. 

You disqualify yourself when you react to a situation rather than lifting it up to God in prayer. He will show you the way to respond to rather than react to something that angers you. 

Here are a few scriptures that may help with this training. I would love to hear any that are “go to”

Scriptures for you when you feel a throw down coming on. Remember these words are not going to make sense to your friends that are non-believers, they are going to tell you to “get what you deserve”and they will be glad to join you a verbal bashing of your spouse, don’t fall into that trap. 
 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Rom 8:25

 Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof: and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit. Eccl 7:8

 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Prv 26:4

 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. 2Tim 2:23

 My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, Jas 1:19
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. (‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13‬:‭4-7‬ NIV)

This is intended for our ladies group at Ridge Recovery, but if it speaks to you then it was intended for you as well.

Good morning ladies. I have found myself reflecting on Kevin’s devotional a lot since Tuesday. Part of it for me was that God uses the unlikely, the unconsecrated, the unimpressive. I am all of these things! I honestly don’t even fully comprehend unconsecrated, but I get the gest… It’s me. I have found myself in a place where God is using me! In this Chaplain training I am working along side senior pastors, licensed therapists, and people with degrees in religion and theology. The only thing I have to offer is 2 semesters of an incomplete associates degree in business (that I picked because there was no required algebra) and a long list of God’s grace and redemption from my own choices or other people’s choices that directly effected me. God appointed me to this position, He called me to this opportunity to serve regardless of my credentials or lack of. So when you come to a point in your life that you feel unworthy, not smart enough, not skilled enough please remember these words! Just like David, the little boy tending sheep that was called to be king above all the other more likely and qualified brothers YOU are called to a higher purpose. No matter your past, or your present HE knows your future and he wants you to follow Him.

1 Corinthians 1:26-31New International Version (NIV)

26 Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”

In my 12 step recovery group we are hovering over step 4. It’s a TOUGH step. It reads like this:

Step Four
Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to The Lord.
Lam 3:40

Seriously??! Fearless??? That’s a big order to fill!
Every morning it seems I wake up and have to start all over! I have to remind myself the promises of God. It seems like fear can take over my thoughts, invade my security, challenge my faith all before my feet hit the ground.
In step four there are a few things I’ve underlined that tell me I am not “terminally unique”.
I could just copy and paste the entire section, but I’ll hit the highlights that stuck out to me.
“Fear limits our ability to be rational. When fear is present, it is difficult to see situations in their true perspective.”
What this says to me is fear is the reason I can wake up on any given morning and let my mind wonder down the path of anxiety, and insecurity.
Most people think I’m a very secure strong woman, but until I talk to Jesus I am a hot mess! I don’t see myself or my situations in their true perspectives. I don’t see me through God’s eyes, I see a woman that could loose a little weight, keep a cleaner house, have more patience with my boys. I don’t see my relationships through God’s eyes because the fear in me says that they will all just disappear one day, or that I may have said something that will offend someone, even though that’s far from my nature. God’s perspective is that I am secure, He has set my boundaries in pleasant places. God’s perspective is that He loves me regardless if I fall short in my domestic duties. God’s perspective is He loves me enough to help me change the short comings in my life without beating me up about it. God’s perspective is He has given me the relationships I have, He tells me that everything has a season including relationships. If He chooses to let that season last a lifetime, then I will be blessed for a lifetime. If He chooses the season to be short-lived even then I shouldn’t fear because in the end all things will work out for my good and His glory because I love HIM!

Most people hear recovery and think specifically about drugs or alcohol. While that is part of our ministry it doesn’t define the ministry. We deal with topics like fear, insecurity, abuse, self worth…anything that can be used to destroy our peace and kill our joy.
We are on a journey to wholeness while seeking Jesus in every part of our lives. Hearts and minds will be opened to receive the love that God wants to pour over you. Freedom awaits us. I’m looking forward to walking this journey with you. In the coming weeks there will be announcements on dates and times for our recovery groups on the church blog, and during Sunday services. You can email us if you have questions at:

Recovery@ridgechurchonline.com